The Update

I haven’t posted for an entire week! This last week has been one of the busiest since my semester started, so everything that wasn’t on top of the Important Things totem pole got pushed to the sidelines.

SO, here is the quick version of my week:

Monday
7:15 a.m. Armed with the best of intentions, I get up bright and early to work out! Sadly, the best intentions guns were out of bullets after this morning, as I did not go to the gym anymore after this.
10:00 a.m. School.
1:00 p.m. Go to work, and by that I mean don’t really do that much work. But someone has to implement that hook, and I guess it’s got to be me.
2:00 p.m. Hang out with Bohemian-esque lab partner and work on story package about emergency conraception, surprise interview people who have no idea that we’re coming, bully them into talking to us as we eat all their office cookies, leave.
6:00 p.m. Eat the fastest dinner of my life, which involves more air intake than when I eat at a normal pace. Oddly unsettling…
6:02 p.m. More school. Dear God, when will it end?
8:00 p.m. Go to the newspaper, forget to tape “The Bachelor” and then be so sad, but not admit it to people because, who really wants to admit that they watch (and secretly LOVE) “The Bachelor”? NOT ME!

Tuesday
9:30 a.m. Class.
11:00 a.m. More hooking at work.
1:00 p.m. Go to pregnancy resource center to discuss emergency contraception story. Everyone assumes we are pregnant, which is a new feeling. Interview the crazy lady at the conservative Christian pregnancy resource center, have Bohemian-esque lab partner hold me back as I say liberal, cutting things to said crazy lady. Also, have horrible driving on the way home. I fear this phase will never end, because, well, I’M A HORRIBLE DRIVER.
2:00 p.m. Enjoy the afternoon with my little sis. Thank God someone else likes to lounge around as much as I do…

Wednesday
9:00 a.m. Go to Planned Parenthood to interview someone. Everyone immediately thinks I’m pregnant for the second time this week, which feels weird, however I like all the attention I’m getting. Perhaps someone will throw me a shower?
9:03 a.m. Fumble around and NOT impress the PP man in any way, which is fine because he was a royal arse. I decide on the spot that I do not like men named Daniel (who don’t go by Dan) and who wear stupid glasses. Stupid glasses-wearing Daniel man.
10:00 a.m. Class AGAIN. Don’t these people know I’m tired of it?
6:00 p.m. Class is cancelled. God, thanks for listening.
7:00 p.m. Dinner with a fraternity. The theme was 70s, but since nobody really has a polyester prom dress (we all wish) there was a mix of hippies, Farrah Fawcetts, and afros. I, on the other hand, looked as though I belonged on “Three’s Company” and so spent the entire evening looking for a flexible blonde and a slightly flamboyant straight man with bad hair and flared pants to go roller skating with, and maybe sing that catchy song.

Thursday
5:45 a.m. The time I wake up. This should have been a sign that everything would go wrong today… what day can really end well when you have to get up that early?
6:45 a.m. Go to get gas and have the Amoco lady tell me that my card has been used too much already today. After briefly wondering if Stella borrowed it to go out shopping again, I think it’s identity theft, and thus, freak out.
6:46 a.m. Go to another gas station, just to be sure, card works fine. Dear God. Also, I now hate gas station workers who make me worry about identity theft when IT’S ALREADY HAPPENED TO ME.
7:00 a.m. Pick up Bohemian-esque lab partner and head down to the Capitol in Denver. Sometimes when I drive, I get the rage, and I am not especially chatty in the morning anyway, as the people I live with can attest, therefore this drive has moments bordering on slightly awkward.
8:30 a.m. Arrive at the Capitol. The essence of the day is that we wander around, do some tap dancing, chase down senators (no really, we waited for one outside her meeting and followed her back to her office – we are such badasses) go to lunch, talk to everyone, somewhere in there I may or may not have lost my glasses (to which I say “Oh shit!”) etc.
1:45 p.m. We leave the Capitol. I also may or may not have backed into a parked car. Does anyone know how to fix a really fast blinker?
3:00 p.m. Arrive home from the Capitol and feel zero compunction at all about the nap I am about to take.
8:00 p.m. Get ready for the annual Office Party that a fraternity has invited us to. Put on fishnet tights, a red bra and a mini-skirt. I do my hair to look as though I have just had sex on the copy machine. I am ready for action.
9:30 p.m. Board a bus with 50 hot frat guys. I am one of ten girls that they requested to be on the bus with them. Life is good. So is whiskey.
10:00 p.m. Pull up to a bar at the top of Poudre Canyon, make eye contact with a guy, then make out with him intermittantly for the rest of the night. I told you, I was ready for action!
1:00 a.m. Get off the bus, all while assuring make-out boy that as much as he wanted to wake up next to me the next morning, that is how much I did NOT want to wake up next to him, so we cancel each other out, and I would just go home. I don’t think the logic was hitting him at that point. It was also to spare him the description of just how not-fabulous I am in the mornings. Plus, I would be taking the fishnets off, so he would just end up disappointed.

Friday
10:00 a.m. In a turn of events that makes me wonder if I was a axe murderer in a former life, I discover that I have class with make-out boy However, this turns out not to be such a bad thing as we went on a date and had fun. Do I smell a Spring Formal date? Still though, why must my nights come back to haunt me?
12:00 p.m. Go to University Singers, and sit next to the girl who wears really strong perfume, smokes the pot, (I can tell) has a nasty tattoo, and coughs all over me. It’s not fun.
1:00 p.m. Buy a falafel wrap, take three bites, and am again reminded why I am no longer a vegetarian.
3:00 p.m. Think about taking a nap. Maybe I do, maybe I don’t – you don’t know.
6:00 p.m. Dinner with still more fraternity guys. We are introduced to the “Awkward Turtle” which I will tell you about later. No, Internet, it’s not a dirty as it sounds.
9:00 p.m. Forgo the hi-liter party and go see “Brokeback Mountain” with Michelle and Shannon instead.
1:00 a.m. In bed already, yess.

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