Just FANtastic


I have been awake at 4:00 a.m. for the past few nights. And by “few nights” I actually mean the past five nights. Now, I am pissy if I get less than eight or nine hours of sleep, so imagine what a ray of sunshine I am if I have to give up an hour of my precious recharge time, and at 4:00 a.m. no less. If I could make phone calls or discuss matters of great importance, then fine, I’ll sacrifice – but 4:00 a.m.? The only thing you can do at such an ungodly hour is jump on the bed and then eat cookies, and frankly, I’m getting tired of that.

I have no idea why I am waking up at 4:00 a.m., it’s a mystery. I have never had any trouble sleeping, and the older I get the more likely I am to fall asleep mid-sentence or while eating a sandwich or something. So why I cannot sleep in my delicious princess bed is beyond my grasp. The only reason I can think of is because I’m hot.

I am a hot sleeper, I’ll admit it. I wish I wasn’t though. Some people luxuriate in a warm bed, but I cannot stand to be hot. So I keep my room at sub-zero temperatures, and then layer on the clothes and shiver my way to sleep. I can’t explain it.

But then, during the course of the night, the clothes come flying off, (not to mention the socks and extra blankets) my feet are enflamed, and I have singed the hair of off anyone within 10 feet of me. Perhaps this is why I sleep alone?

I have always been a hot sleeper. When I was five, I had a pair of Strawberry Shortcake footy pajamas (the pjs with the tractioned socks attached, if you weren’t cool enough to own a pair.) In the middle of the night, convinced that my feet were on fire, I threw the mother of all tantrums and my parents had to cut the feet off the footy pajamas while I was still WEARING them. This should have been a sign.

So last night, (at 4:00 a.m.) was lying awake, contemplating how I was destined to live a tortured life as a hot sleeper, forever waking up and having to furiously fan myself to become cold enough to sleep again, when I discovered something amazing: the fan switch.

What, you didn’t know you could switch the direction of the ceiling fan so that it would blow cold air DIRECTLY on your hot sleeping body? ME NEITHER! I only found out about this at dinner on Sunday night (thanks a bunch, Dad!) I think my parents have been keeping this from me intentionally, the humor of a hot (and disgruntled) sleeper in too many clothes is just too funny for them to give up. Well, newsflash parents: you two totally owe me a pair of footy pajamas.

Yes, a new age of sleeping has been ushered into room 17 at Hacienda Kappa Delta. An ice age, if you will. Bring on the socks.

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