Monthly Archives: January 2008

CARma

My new car has a chip in the wind shield.  My beautiful new car that is sleek and black and badass.  Has a chip.  In the wind shield.  I am upset.

In all the years I owned Lola the Mustang, the tempermental charlatan of a car who would just as soon overheat as she would take me kindly and stylishly to my destination, (which, at 16, was usually around the block so I could storm off in a cloud of dramatic angst to great effect) I never had any body damage at all.  No scrapes, no dents, no chips of any sort – despite the maniacal teenage driving through the King Soopers parking lot or that one time when Lola may or may not have been used to knock over a porta potty in a parking lot which may or may not have been adjacent to an elementary school which I may or may not have attended from the age of 5 until the age of 11.  

It’s hard to say now what truly happened, and that police report is long gone anyway… besides – what 16 year old can resist the thrill of a red sports car and all the hijinks that are supposed to come along with it?  I’m pretty sure Lola was to blame.

Regardless, my lovely new car that doesn’t even have a name or personality yet, has been wounded.  She is a battered woman walking.  Or driving, as the case may be.  Whatever.

I would just like to apologize to my new car publicy.  May she never again have to bear the karmic reprecussions for the misdeeds of Lola, that red two-bit hussy mustang ever again amen.

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Filed under Woe To Me

Leggy

I have a pair of indigo-dyed skinny jeans from Ralph Lauren.  They were purchased on sale for a whopping $25 during a girls day cum girls weekend cum girls shopping extravaganza during which we ate too much, hid in the back of someone’s car during a rainstorm and only bought things that were on sale. 

These jeans – when worn with a pintucked, overly feminine sweater, and a pair of shiny, stiletto mary janes that make me think of tea parties for no discernable reason at all – make my legs look a mile long.  I mean it – I feel like my legs are attached to my chest.  Quite a feat considering I’ve never topped 5′ 5″, stiletto tea party shoes included.

Today is a good day.

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Filed under Digressions

Happy Happy New Year

2007 was a rockin’ year.  Perhaps the best one yet, though if that’s true, then first runner up has to be 1984, without which I would not be here.  Second runner-up definitely goes to the year 2000 for being the year I got my braces off AND the year I got my first real kiss.  I like to think the two are events are intrinsically related. 

There is no third runner-up because nobody likes the third runner-up. She doesn’t even get any tiaras or flowers.

2007 can be categorized into two…categories: first and best.  Not a bad way to categorize a year, if I do say so myself.

First:

Apartment

Shot of tequila taken without gagging afterward

Solo flying experience

Trip to Africa

Graduation from college

Big girl job

New car

Best:

Night ever.  You. Know.

Cocktail party ever thrown by me.  People are still talking about it.  At least, I’m still talking about it.

Abroad experience.  I’ve never been so dirty and hot and happy simultaneously.  In that way.

Landlord.  He let us paint our walls crazy colors, light stuff on fire and gave us money.  He was like an enormous Mormon 27 year-old Santa.  

Birthday hello.  I welcomed 22 with great friends and great wine.  And went to bed at 11:00.  And I liked it.

Birthday good-bye.  I bid adieu to 22 and holla’ to 23 while wearing a Tweedle costume and dancing with a giant chipmunk and two wonderful friends at DisneyWorld.  (Have I mentioned that I normally sit in an office and do respectable, grown-uppy things all day?)

Time spent with complete strangers.  My senior broadcast capstone peeps were, for the most part, completely unknown to me at the beginning of 2007.  By the end I had some great stories, could laugh about the most stressful and ridiculous undertaking I’ve ever been a part of (see here) and some lifelong friends who I plan to entangle in my escapades forevermore.

So here’s to you, 2007, for being the best year ever.  May you wear your tiara proudly. 

And put those flowers in some water, will you?

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Filed under My World