Monthly Archives: February 2008

Ode to the DMV (again)

So, it occurred to me today that I am a grown-up.  I kind-of had to be pushed into it, kicking and screaming, by the wheel of time or the circle of life or whatever, but I’m here.

And, turns out, stuff sucks when you are an adult with a capital A.* 

*As an aside, I feel like 92% of what I write on this blog fits into that basic category:1. Being a grown-up and why it’s hard/annoying/sucks balls/fill in the blank.  And also that I am continually surprised by said things. It’s like I’m shocked and amazed every day that I don’t wake up five.  When does that stop?

Followed closely, of course, by category #2:2. Stuff I’ve bought or eaten, courtesy of my grown-up money.  Never gets old to me, Internet!

Anyway, in continuing with both of these categories, I had to visit the DMV today.  It has been previously noted that I may, in fact, hate the DMV with the passion of a thousand fires.  A thousand and one fires actually, to be specific.  I will throw another log on ye olde campfire for the DMV.  And today – I throw on two logs. Because not only were there obnoxious running children present (the usual MO for my DMV experience) but they also stole all my money.

$482 of it.

I’m still $19k a lot in debt for the damn car itself, but now I have to pay almost $500 bucks just for the privilege of driving it around?  I hate to drive, as LP can attest. Now I know why.

Perhaps the DMV peeps think I have a money tree?  That instead of the wheel of time, I was actually on the Wheel of Fortune? I have no idea.  It doesn’t matter, because I have to pay anyway.

And use what little I have left to buy a plane ticket back to Tanzania.  THOSE peeps know how to do public transport.

Also, that song about the circle of life just seems more apt over there.

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Not unlike the moon

Timing is a harsh mistress.  A harsh mistress indeed.

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Filed under Gentlemen Friends, Woe To Me

Overdose: February 2008

It has been brought to my attention that I missed the January edition of Overdose.  I would like to bring it to your attention, Internet, that perhaps I missed this important monthly milestone because I was too busy actually overdosing on LIFE.

 

Or on waffles, but you get the point:

 

I overdosed in a good way.

 

Unlike Heath Ledger, who overdosed in the bad way, God rest his soul.  He was definitely not on my celebrity death wish list.  Unfortunately.  If Britney Spears would hop her twig, however, that would be an entirely different bottle of pills, if you know what I mean.

 

(You do know what I mean, right?  That I don’t like Britney Spears and I find her trashy and unfortunate and not at all deserving of the status the public has conferred upon her?  Okay, good.  I’m glad you feel that way, too.  I was just making sure.)

 

Anyway, I suppose it is now time to mosey over to the February edition.  I actually seem to be in perpetual overdose these days, both the good kind and the bad kind.  Let’s tally, shall we?

 

GOOD:

         CNN.  While I like to use my broadcast journalism degree as validation and justification to mock broadcast journalism as a whole (with the exception of my producer friend Eryn, whom I like very much and therefore will not mock. As much.), I think the political circus is worth paying attention to, in any and all forms. An informed electorate can only be a good thing as we prepare to move on and move forward from the political disaster that we’re currently living in.  Side note: Bush and Cheney are not celebrities, but they sooooooooo make the list, blashphemous as that totally and intentionally is.

 

         Pilates.  Can’t get enough of my class at the gym or my adorable instructor, Erica.  Even though it’s incredibly hard, it makes me feel all bendy and weird (in a good way) and it turns out that “Torture Time with Erica” is, surprisingly, the only time I can think about the state of my life without wanting to punch someone.  We’ll get to the punching thing later…

 

         The Weepies.  Yet again.  I just bought their first album, “Happiness” and I am, indeed, full of happiness when I listen to it.  Also, helps with the punching thing.

 

BAD:

         Cheese.  Still bingeing.  And le BF is no help at all.  In fact, he is aiding and abetting me at every turn:

     “This grocery store has an entire bar of CHEESE!  Aren’t you excited to look at and also fondle, all this CHEESE?!?!” 

     “I need to quit eating so much cheese.  It’s very unhealthy and also, I think it’s starting to affect the plumbing…” 

     “Who’s talking about plumbing?  Let’s just eat CHEESE!” 

     “We are breaking up right now.” 

 

     If he continues to aid and abet, I might just start absconding.  With ALL the cheese everywhere.  CAN’T STOP.

 

         Boulder chips.  Holy crap, these are delicious.  Especially the salt and malt vinegar kind, which are the very worst kind because they even sound bad for you.  Unlike, you know, the rosemary kind which sound sort-of herbalicious and zen-esque to me.  I might as well install a salt lick in my backyard.  Cut out those silly chips, they’re just the middle man!  Do you know a man who can install a salt lick?  Are those safe for human licking?  Is this disgusting yet?

 And now for something completely different! 

Because today I have my shit together, for only three installments of $99.99 plus shipping and handling, I can even offer you a preview of what I am sure to be overdosing on come the third week of March.

 

 

You’re welcome, Internet.  You’re welcome.

 

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When smack talkery gets you nowhere

So, the greatest thing in the world ALMOST just happened: The electricity went out. 

Much freaking out ensued because, again, my life is a movie and people were wandering around aimlessly, looking scared without the blueish glow of their computer screens to light their way. What do we do?  What do we do?!?!?!? 

The electricity stayed out while there was talk of calling Public Service and how they were claiming it would take four hours to fix.  

The electricity continued to be out while my team hemmed and hawed, trying and failing to connect to the network on their laptops. 

There were whispers about working from home – a phenomenon so rare it’s like an extinct species. The excitement began to build. 

The electricity was obviously still out when we got the announcement that, due to the uncertain electrical circumstance, the building was closing and we were all to vacate immediately.  My team frantically tried to discuss work things, because they are silly, while I gleefully packed my bags, visions of the caucus (and being ON TIME to caucus in Fort Collins) danced in my head. 

The electricity was off, the hall was dark as I made my way toward the door. 

And then, because the McKesson gods know how much I smack talk about this place… 

The lights came back on. 

And here I am. 

Oh damn. 

My coworkers are happy.  Happy little coworkers, safe again in flourescent cube land.  It feels Orwellian, 1984-esque.   

I long to escape!!!  

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Filed under Woe To Me, Work