It has been brought to my attention that I missed the January edition of Overdose. I would like to bring it to your attention, Internet, that perhaps I missed this important monthly milestone because I was too busy actually overdosing on LIFE.
Or on waffles, but you get the point:
I overdosed in a good way.
Unlike Heath Ledger, who overdosed in the bad way, God rest his soul. He was definitely not on my celebrity death wish list. Unfortunately. If Britney Spears would hop her twig, however, that would be an entirely different bottle of pills, if you know what I mean.
(You do know what I mean, right? That I don’t like Britney Spears and I find her trashy and unfortunate and not at all deserving of the status the public has conferred upon her? Okay, good. I’m glad you feel that way, too. I was just making sure.)
Anyway, I suppose it is now time to mosey over to the February edition. I actually seem to be in perpetual overdose these days, both the good kind and the bad kind. Let’s tally, shall we?
– CNN. While I like to use my broadcast journalism degree as validation and justification to mock broadcast journalism as a whole (with the exception of my producer friend Eryn, whom I like very much and therefore will not mock. As much.), I think the political circus is worth paying attention to, in any and all forms. An informed electorate can only be a good thing as we prepare to move on and move forward from the political disaster that we’re currently living in. Side note: Bush and Cheney are not celebrities, but they sooooooooo make the list, blashphemous as that totally and intentionally is.
– Pilates. Can’t get enough of my class at the gym or my adorable instructor, Erica. Even though it’s incredibly hard, it makes me feel all bendy and weird (in a good way) and it turns out that “Torture Time with Erica” is, surprisingly, the only time I can think about the state of my life without wanting to punch someone. We’ll get to the punching thing later…
– The Weepies. Yet again. I just bought their first album, “Happiness” and I am, indeed, full of happiness when I listen to it. Also, helps with the punching thing.
– Cheese. Still bingeing. And le BF is no help at all. In fact, he is aiding and abetting me at every turn:
“This grocery store has an entire bar of CHEESE! Aren’t you excited to look at and also fondle, all this CHEESE?!?!”
“I need to quit eating so much cheese. It’s very unhealthy and also, I think it’s starting to affect the plumbing…”
“Who’s talking about plumbing? Let’s just eat CHEESE!”
“We are breaking up right now.”
If he continues to aid and abet, I might just start absconding. With ALL the cheese everywhere. CAN’T STOP.
– Boulder chips. Holy crap, these are delicious. Especially the salt and malt vinegar kind, which are the very worst kind because they even sound bad for you. Unlike, you know, the rosemary kind which sound sort-of herbalicious and zen-esque to me. I might as well install a salt lick in my backyard. Cut out those silly chips, they’re just the middle man! Do you know a man who can install a salt lick? Are those safe for human licking? Is this disgusting yet?
And now for something completely different!
Because today I have my shit together, for only three installments of $99.99 plus shipping and handling, I can even offer you a preview of what I am sure to be overdosing on come the third week of March.
You’re welcome, Internet. You’re welcome.