I’ve been thinking a lot about death lately, inspired by several other people who are chiming in on the same subject. And by “lately”, I mean a lot more in the last few years than I ever have before, although I’m not really sure why. Not really in a morbid way, but just in an ever increasing holy-crap-I’m-dying-by-the-day! sort of way.
Maybe it’s the fact that my friends are starting to get married, there has been a lot of talk about babies lately (although not serious talk), days are speeding up, lives are taking shape. We’re becoming real people, my friends and I, and the experience thus far has been quite frustrating, usually interesting, often boring, disappointing in its letdowns, and incredibly exciting in its opportunities.
While death seems to be a daily theme for me right now, I try to use that thought process to spur more interesting conversation within myself about the kind of life I’ve had thus far, and want to continue to live.
Unless I get run over by a semi tomorrow. In which case, it’ll be a good thing I’ve thought this through.
And so – a list. Of all the moments (thus far) I want to flash before my eyes before I go. Subject to change upon the happening of life milestones big and small, and upon the embarking of more awesome adventures to everywhere.
- Trying to cross between two paddle boats, having one foot on each, doing the splits, and landing in the middle of a lake, cartoon style. Age 12.
- Playing Daddy Monster with all the kids in the neighborhood on cool summer nights, and being scared shitless every single time. Age 7.
- The magic feeling that rose up through my feet the first time I walked barefoot on the soil of a foreign country. Age 16.
- Leading the 4th of July block parade with a glittery sign I had spent two days making all by myself. Age 8.
- Dressing my younger brother up as a girl, earrings and all, and introducing him to the UPS man as my visiting cousin. Age 6.
- Carefully choosing my largest, shiniest hair bow to wear to the hospital the day my cousin Connor was born. Age 10.
- Driving my shiny red Mustang, unaccompanied for the first time, both exhilarated and terrified. Age 17.
- Chasing my grandmother down the mall in DC, working hard to catch up to her because she is that fast. Age 14.
- Experiencing Kappa Delta initiation for the first time. Age 19.
- Making carpet angels with Dana in the living room of our very first apartment. Age 22.
- Having flowers sent to me from a boyfriend for the very first time. Age 20.
- Drinking rum and Fanta and dancing on the beach of the Indian Ocean at midnight. Age 23.
- The smell of baking noodles in a Tuscan pasteria. Age 18.
- Making a tent in the basement during tornado season, and making it large enough for my dog, my dad, and my hamster. Age 5.
- Drinking margaritas dressed as Holly Golightly on my birthday. Age 21.
- Seeing my name on the top of a cast list. Age 17.
- Holding puppy Lucy in my lap the whole way home. Age 18.
- Skinny dipping with 10 other people at a lake in the middle of Wyoming. Age 20.
- Smoking a Cuban cigar in a hot pink lawn chair on the sorority house roof. Age 22.
- Seeing my name in print for the first time. Age 15.
- Staring at The David, thinking inappropriate things. Age 18.
- Putting in lots of quality time at the paddling pool with Mal, Mitchell and Grant. Age 9.
- Stripping down to nothing and dancing in the overflowing gutters during a rainstorm. Age 6.
- Eating my first samosa, not knowing what was in it, and not caring because it was that good. Age 23.
- Hearing the uncontrollable laughter of my peers at the debut of my first film. Age 22.
Emerging themes: travel, firsts, family, water, any moments that required an extra dose of adventure, bravery or independence.
What moments would you want to see on your life portfolio reel?