Don’t stand so close to me

I have a new addiction.  I don’t think anyone here is surprised.  I seem to have a highly addictive personality.  It’s actually shocking that I haven’t taken up cocaine yet.

No, my addictions seem to revolve around other orifices.  Namely, mouth and ears. And I don’t think you can ingest cocaine via the mouth or ears.  (Am I right, crack addicts?  That’s a snorter, right?  Set me straight!) 

I get addicted to certain music, to the point that I listen to the same song or album on repeat, unterruptedly, for months at a time.

And then, of course, are the food addictions.  Cheese and pita chips, being the most recent victims to fall in and out of my favor. 

But behold – a new thing to which I have become addicted: Parmesan Basil Wheat Thins.  Sweet nectar of the gods.  These are awesome.

Of course, now that I have plowed my way through half a box, I’m sure my breath would smell like a rose garden to anyone who stands close to me

However, since nobody has been up in my grille for quite awhile now (too long, in fact) I am going to continue to munch like it’s my job.

If only I could shove them in my ears.  This would be a great day.

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2 Comments

Filed under Digressions

2 responses to “Don’t stand so close to me

  1. Perhaps I should remain anonymous...but you can call me L.P.

    Um, I’m no expert, but can’t you smoke crack too? I only ask because I had a recent encounter with a man selling what seemed to be crack pipes. And also, on CSI (which is such a silly show, I know for a fact that only nerds watch it – I myself heard this tidbit from a friend of a friend), when someone has a burn mark on their finger they assume that they are a smoker of the crack.
    Just thought I’d set that little fact straight. Yes, crack can in fact be injested through your mouth.
    Stick to the Wheat Thins though, ok?

  2. hilaryldavis

    Will do! I would hate for anyone to think I was “a smoker of the crack…”

    Oh I love you 🙂

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