I am 23. The coworker next in age to me is 33. The average age of the rest of my depart is approximately 47.
I’m starting to realize that, because I am so much younger than they are, my coworkers view with me with an interesting mixture of contempt, curiosity, vicarious longing, mockery, delight, envy and good ol’ fashioned voyeurism.
They envy my shoes, towering heels that only the young and spry can wear (and run in, if necessary) to work. They are always up for a good story about my weekend hijinks and how many boys I’ve made out with recently (especially when in Slovenia…), one coworker in particular is a touch contemptful, especially when the boss lady chooses my ideas over his (sorry, dude) and they generally spend lots of time teasing me for calling people “dudes” or “peeps” and saying “fo’shizzle, I can get that project managed for you!” It’s all in good fun – I would never fo’ shizzle a client, at least, not on purpose – and I actually feel like it’s my duty to be a socially responsible 23-year old coworker by teaching my department all about bling, staycations, and how it is, truly physically possible to make out with four Italian men in one night in Slovenia.
But as of today, none of this matters because one of my co-workers (one of the 47+ year old variety) not only said, “like, totally!” in response to a question from the boss, but when asked for the status on a current project, she also said “Um, the client totally had a cow about that, so we’re not even doing it now.”
Um, I like, totally have so much leverage over you now! And, like, you can’t mock me anymore the next time I tell you to check your grillz after lunch. Especially if you’ve eaten cow of any sort. Fo’ shizzle.