The Mister 101

I’m not entirely sure how to begin this post.  I don’t usually talk about other people on my blog, although there are a few exceptions, most notably LP, who is my mostly companion, sagest (and most cynical) council, and my woman friend who is also my soul mate because we agree on life’s most important things: pizza toppings, tequila brands, and exactly which crap TV is worthy of our time.  I love her.

But mostly this blog is about me.  The stupid things I do, the weird things I eat, and the embarrassing things I say, and the hilarity that ensues after I’ve done something stupid/eaten something weird/said something embarrassing. And that’s intentional, on account of the fact that – I know you’ll be shocked to hear this – there are lots of people in the world who think blogging is only for political pundits, angsty 13 year old girls, and angsty 13 year old girls who grew up to be angsty 33 year old mommy bloggers who now have nothing better to do with their time than gush about their kids and whine about their malfunctioning Diaper Genies on the Interweb.  

Naturally, being a 23 year old single person who is without angst, kids, or Diaper Genies but who is also a mostly regular blogger, I know this isn’t true.  

And you know what else isn’t true?  That part up there, where I said I was a 23 year old single person.  I’m still 23, although my birthday is rapidly approaching (I’d like a unicorn and a trip to Tahiti, please thanks) but I am no longer what I would call a single person.

Enter The Mister, stage left.  Or stage right.  He’s a Republican, after all, so in the interest of fairness, I’ll allow him to enter into my life story on whichever side of the stage he chooses.  Especially because I’ve been making way too many Jamie Lynn Palin jokes lately, and also alluding to the fact that The Mister might be almost as old as John McCain.  Let’s be fair.

Luckily for both of us, The Mister isn’t quite 49 years my senior, a la George…I mean John…  But he is enough older than me that doing age math is really, really fun.  For me.  For example, when The Mister graduated from college, I didn’t yet have a driver’s license.  When The Mister was at his senior prom, I was still in elementary school.  When The Mister gets out of bed in the morning, his back audibly cracks.  And then I audibly laugh, and make jokes about his (nonexistent) artificial hip.  See how fun it can be, dating an older man?  Fun for everyone!

But seriously – it’s really fun.  Even more fun than elementary school, driving, or the senior prom, and that’s saying something.  Apparently fun is what normal people have in relationships, which is just plain crazy, because I always thought relationships were something you did when you felt like self-mutilation might not be enough of a picnic by itself.  Or something you took part in when you weren’t feeling quite as horrible enough about yourself as you possibly could. I thought relationships meant that someone drives 60 miles to see another someone who treats them like crap and rewards their long drive not with a kiss on the cheek, but a noncommittal toss of the head because they were in the middle of playing Guitar Hero and couldn’t possibly bother to stop.  I thought that’s what it was like.

Luckily for both of us (that’s you and me, Internet, because now you won’t have to listen to my whining) I was wrong.  Turns out that relationships can actually be more than silence, frustration, and one-sided effort.  They can be more than Guitar Hero and blank stares.  They can be more than all talk and no action. They can be more than I ever hoped for.

Because I hoped for common ground and understanding, and instead I found a common soul with wisdom and intelligence to match.  I needed a sense of humor, and I got someone who makes me laugh until I cry.  I prayed for someone to be nice to me, and I have someone who is considerate, chivalrous, and kind.  

I always wanted someone like this.  And I found him.

So even though he is right leaning, slightly disdainful of both veggie pizza and tequila, and was actually born in an entirely different decade, he is also open minded, thoughtful, hilarious, and he brings to our relationships an entirely different perspective of the world that forces me to think about everything in a new way.  And that’s worth all the unicorns in all the land.  

And all the trips to Tahiti, too.



Filed under Gentlemen Friends, My World

6 responses to “The Mister 101

  1. Hajni

    Can you find me one of those?

  2. Jess

    I love you Hils and if you don’t take that trip to Tahiti with the Mister, I’ll be more then happy to go with you.

  3. Jess

    p.s. I love that he is right leaning because my Mister was pretty to the left and you know how I used to be more to the right? So now we’re somewhere in the leftish middle. Make sense?

  4. hilaryldavis

    And I’m SO disappointed that he’s right leaning, of course.

    Although, in a way, it’s a good thing.

    Because sometimes it’s the only legitimate reason I can think of not to rip off his pants.

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