So, I have g-mail. And it’s great. I was actually excited to check my e-mail for the first few months of having it, because I love color coding, categorizing and all manner of sorting.
For example, as a child, Halloween meant holing up in a corner somewhere in whatever costume I had chosen that I could feasibly wear with both a tiara and a snowsuit, ignoring the roar of hunger in my stomach and the cry of my inner-fat girl as I sorted my candy by size, then texture, weight, shape, flavor, and whether or not it involved a stick. I also practiced my sorting with Barbies (hair color, height, and where on the spectrum of awesome they fell according to their bikinis), babies (eye color, size, and whether or not they had blinky eyes) and my little brother (you do not fall anywhere on the spectrum of awesome, get out of here.)
G-mail must know this about me. Why else would they implement the sorting mechanism in the first place? But you know, it’s actually starting to get a little creepy how much G-mail knows about me.
Because this morning, I’m just going about my business, kicking off the daily barrage of e-mails to and fro my dear friend Duncan, when one of their helpful, automatically generated links popped up. It was an advertisement for bacon salt, because, according to this link, “everything should taste like bacon!”
I could not possibly agree more.
How do you do it G-mail, HOW?
Does that go against my vegetarianism? I don’t want to eat pigs. I just like how they taste. It’s different.
It’s different, right? Right?!?