“How’s the whole contacts thing goin’ for you Hil?”
“Uh, well, I tried again and I cried again. So, like any reasonable adult, I’ve decided to just quit trying. Until I’m a candidate for Lasik, I’m just going to get cute glasses and call it a day.
After all, every time I try my face gets so red and swollen that I looked like I’ve been punched in the face.”
“You could get some Sarah Palin glasses! Those are cute!”
“No, because then I’d actually want someone to punch me in the face.”