I have a white paper lantern in my room.
I know, I know. But it’s too cold to picnic right now, and also, I’m not attending a garden party or a Japanese wedding anytime soon. So in my room it stays.
There is also a fly in my room. A fly who is either too stupid or too malicious to LEAVE my room, despite the fact that I keep leaving my door and window open in the hopes that a good stiff breeze will blow him out. I’m banking on the fact that this is a malicious fly, on account of how I make fun of his friends a lot.
Apparently flies are also like moths in that they are not only the subject of my eternal hatred, but they are also both attracted to light. And my fly friend keeps getting stuck in the lantern (so I retract my former statement to say that this fly is both malicious AND stupid) and making the most horrific sound.
What is the most horrific sound, you ask?
Imagine one lone, solitary skittle.
Made of steel.
Stuck in a blender.
On the “puree” setting.
It’s going to be a long night.