Confession Session, Part Two: On Filet Mignon and Being a Hypocrite

This is something that has been weighing on me for awhile.  And I feel like, well, if you can’t tell the Internet…who can you tell?

 I have been eating meat.

I know, I know.  It’s awful.  And I feel so awful about it – like, I literally feel awful.  But after being totally veg for two years, I ate a steak on New Year’s Eve (and I have no idea what possessed me, other than the garlic mashed potatoes that beckoned to me from the steak menu…yeah, okay it was totally the mashed potatoes) and now I have unleashed the flood gates.  The gates of the sad factory farm that keep the cows in, to be more specific.  And more graphic.

12 oz. filet on New Year’s Eve?  Fine.

Ham on New Year’s Day?  Whatev.

Beef jerky while I work from home in my PJs?  Just gettin’ it out of my system.

Orange chicken stir-fry on a random Tuesday night? Out of control.

I’m not really sure what’s going on here.  After all, I completely disagree with the way most meat is raised and farmed.  It’s so incredibly bad for you, and my cattle ranching great-uncles and their incredibly weak hearts are living testaments as to why I should lay off the sauce RIGHT NOW.  And I don’t really even like meat all that much.  I think most sandwiches taste fine without it, I’ve always liked side dishes more anyway, and it’s not something I’ve ever craved ever in my whole entire life.

Until now. 

Why is that?

My heart hurts already.  Both from the meat bingeing and the heart-hurting hypocrisy of it all.

And upon further reflection, I’ve realized that it’s not just meat that shows me how I’m a hypocrite.  I am this way in so many other areas.

For example, with men.  I want to be single and fancy free, but when I’m in a relationship, the man in question become the most important man in the history of the world.  I go from not wanting to date, to becoming obsessed in a matter of weeks.  

Why is that?

At work, I whine about how awful my corporate job is and how I should find a new job.  Yet nothing prevents me from using my vacay days and my kinda-hard earned corporate money to go skipping off to Mexico, instead of saving up to move away and do something else.

Why is that?

Are you a hypocrite about anything?  What? 



1 Comment

Filed under My World

One response to “Confession Session, Part Two: On Filet Mignon and Being a Hypocrite

  1. Jess

    Dear Hils.
    Please call, STAT.
    Love, Jess

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