Well that explains it.
It seems I have been published on The Morning News, the bastion of west coast irreverency and hipster cool.
Which is what I try to be every day, despite living in a square state with no coast and working for a corporation, which is the opposite of hipster cool. But I do own Chuck Taylors and am often told I look like Tina Fey, so that has to count for something right?
Actually, it doesn’t even matter. Today I was published, in a little tiny way, on one of my favorite websites. And today, that counts for everything.
PS – Muchas gracias to Cat for solving the mystery. I can now stop cycling through creepy scenarios in which the whole world flocks to my blog and then, somehow, I end up dead in a ditch. Or something. Cat, you’re swell.
Reminding me why is it, exactly, that I don’t look good with Taraji P. Henson’s hair? Why shouldn’t I cut all my hair off? Can anybody think of a good reason?
Because I can’t.
Other than the fact that I had that haircut once and it looked wretched on me. But no matter! I am stubborn! I am determined! I am…stupid?
PS – This is a little weird to bring up, but, uh, there are a lot of you guys out there all of a sudden. I won’t say how many, but I just checked my blog stats for the day and it’s a lot more than normal. Quadruple more than normal, actually.
Where are you coming from? How have you been? How did you end up here? And, additionally, welcome! Buenos tardes! Happy to have you!
So, as previously discussed, I got some sun in Mexico.
I was looking fairly to moderately hot last week.
My skin is peeling off. I’ve gone from red, to splotchy, to kinda tan, to peeling.
I look not unlike a swamp thing. But only on my stomach, my ankles, and half of one leg.
Let this be a lesson to us all: DO NOT FALL ASLEEP AT A WEIRD ANGLE IN THE HOT MEXICAN SUNSHINE.
The Scene: a group of friends are at a very noisy bar. An ’80s cover band is playing “Video Killed The Radio Star” and lots of awkward frat boys are slapping each other and high fiving all around the bar. The friends have just been bowling and our young female protagonist is fresh from a bowling victory, having kicked everyone’s butts, including the handsome fire fighter who’s been shamelessly flirting with her all night.
The protagonist and the fire fighter met once before, almost a year ago, at a birthday party. The fire fighter was instantly taken, or so he says, but too shy to make a move. The protagonist was more interested in the cake. But with the passage of time, things have changed, and now our protagonist has more than cake on her mind.
The bar is so noisy they can’t hear themselves think, but the night is drawing to a close and the fire fighter makes a brave last ditch attempt to finally make his intentions truly known:
Handsome Fire Fighter – yells something unintelligible
Protagonist – “WHAT?!?”
Handsome Fire Fighter – “I SAID, YOU’RE REALLY PRETTY!
Protagonist – “THANKS! I’M ALSO A REALLY GOOD BOWLER. HAR HAR!”
Handsome Fire Fighter – “I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO HIT ON YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I CAN’T EVEN HEAR MYSELF, SO I CAN’T BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT COMES OUT OF MY MOUTH! I’M SORRY! YOU’RE SO PRETTY! I’M SORRY!”
Protagonist – “THAT’S OKAY! IT’S REALLY LOUD IN HERE! HOW ABOUT WE JUST PRETEND WE’RE MAKING WITTY BANTER INSTEAD?”
Handsome Fire Fighter – “DONE! THANKS FOR MAKING MY JOB REALLY EASY!”
Protagonist – “SURE NO PROBLEM!”
They lean together to say something more, but each leans the wrong way and they almost kiss. Or collide faces. Whatever. But they don’t – they blush and dodge. The friends decide to leave the bar, and after an awkward good-bye and a fleeting hug, the handsome fire fighter and our protagonist part ways for the evening, not knowing how long it might be before they would see each other again a third time.
A week? Two? A month? Another year?
The world is not going to explode. Until September.
Did you know that more than 50 of you lovely readers watched the “I’d Rather Dance” video below last week? Just thought you’d like to know. Have you watched it yet? Have you been bowled over by its cuteness while simultaneously felt compelled to don a tutu? Have you used “don” in a sentence (other than “don we now our gay apparel”) lately?
SO! MANY! ACTIVITIES!
Get on it!
Ummm, in other news…I’m back from Mehico. And (drumroll please…) I HAVE A TAN.
I HAVE SOME AREAS ON MY BODY THAT COULD BE CONSIDERED TAN.
I also have other areas, that can be considered “less white”, “slightly pinkish” and “a little scratchy feelin'” respectively.
And how are you? How was your week?
Goodbye everyone! I’m off to Mexico for the week! I can’t wait to drink a margarita, spend time with the KDs, and stare out into the sea.
As a parting gift, I leave you with the cutest music video ever, from my all-time favorite Norwegian acoustic rock duo. It was tough, choosing my all time favorite Norwegian acoustic rock duo, but I weeded through all the Norwegian acoustic rock duos there are, and I have decided to shower my love upon The Kings of Convenience.
Adios! See you in a week!