Monthly Archives: April 2009

Oink Oink, Happy Wednesday

Dear Everyone,

For your own protection, please visit this site to learn what you should do if you have swine flu:

Do I Have Swine Flu?

I work in healthcare. 

You’re welcome.


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Filed under Work

My story is much too sad to be told

And practically everything leaves me suddenly cold. *

Yes, that’s right.  It has snowed.  Yet again.

Upon backing out of my driveway this morning, I saw my neighbor’s beautiful red and gold tulips were capped with white, like little hats.  They were fancy, those tulips, and clearly had put on their hats to do something fun.  Off to the opera in Moscow, or maybe having a tea party.

Which is much better than going to work, which is where I was heading.

I should have taken a picture.  But that’s the difference between me and a real photographer.  A real photog would always opt to take the picture, whereas I am just always running late and haven’t the time.

And this whole day is why I always laugh in the face of those who “pack away their winter clothes” in Colorado.

Silly people – don’t you know? Fall = 90 degrees, Winter = sunshine, and Spring = SNOW!


* Do you know what song from whence these lyrics came?  If you do, then I applaud your musical knowledge.  Also, we should probably make out.

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Filed under It's awkward now, My World, Woe To Me

The Reason Why…

…today is great.

1.  I woke up at 5:45 and went for an early morning run. 

Coldplay + the sun rising = bliss!


Granted, I did not run by the ocean.  But the last time I was up to watch the sun rise, it was in Mexico.  Thus, I gift you with a picture of the glowing Mexican sun.  You’re welcome!

2. Must do return mail today, but that means I can listen to a new This American Life podcast.  I had a voice crush on Ira Glass, like, forever, and when I found out what he looked like, I only got more excited.  Geeks are hot.

3. Going to lunch with my other young fun coworker, the other half of H2, so we can sit outside on a balcony somewhere and enjoy the sun!

4. Leaving early to get a pedicure with Katie and Kris.  Thank goodness.  My feet are actually scared of each other, things are so unattractive down yonder. TMI you say?  True.  But why else do you read this blog?

5.  E and I are having a good old fashioned slumber party!  And by good old fashioned I mean drinking wine, watching The West Wing, and talking about men.  That’s been my recipe for a good slumber party since 1993.  You?

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Filed under Fiesta!, Friends

New Traditions

I think everyone should partake in the lovely tradition I seem to have started.  It’s called “Let Your Ex-Boyfriend Walk You Into Work Every Morning Because You Arrive To The Office Simultaneously And Happen To Park Next To Each Other.” 

Our timing is impeccable.

It’s a little like Christmas, this new tradition, only the presents are smaller and less tangible.  After all, you can’t hold the spicy clean smell of a man in your hands.  You can’t box up that look, put a bow on it and set it under the tree.   You can’t give the gift of chivalry – morning compliments, door opening, elevator holding – to someone else.

Which is too bad. I imagine the gift of chivalry would be a great comfort to a great many women.

And I know, because I’m finding that it is actually possible to receive these gifts and take comfort in them, without expecting any more.  I’m finding that it is possible to delight in his company, be charmed by his manners, laugh at his jokes, and then walk away. 

Because as hard as it is to walk away, it’s much, much harder to continue to punish myself.

As my very wise friend E has told me, there are good things in all relationships, and so even after the relationship ends, that goodness belongs to you forever if you want it.

E’s been through this kind of thing before.

It’s hard, because I want the goodness, just as it was.  I want our morning banter to end with a kiss, not a “have a nice day!”  I want the note on my desk to hint at love, touch on passion, and skirt the bounds of what’s appropriate for the office.  I don’t want it to be just another note from a coworker and friend.

But maybe, as our relationship evolves, there can still be goodness.  Not goodness as it was, and not goodness as I want it to be, but a new goodness.  A new ritual, a new belief.

For our belief in love, we fell in love.  We suspended our disbelief and allowed ourselves to explore the wide open plains of each other, traversing our histories together, seeing ourselves in the sunlight of the other.

For our belief in love, we broke apart.  We came down from the high and shook the haze from our eyes, recalibrating ourselves to a life without the other.

Love is abstract, and messy. It’s not a feeling, it’s an emotion.  It’s not mere emotion, it’s an action.  But even herculean action can’t save what is lost, no matter how abstract it is, no matter how hard you try.

And so we suspend yet again, only this time it’s love we suspend.

Because, for our faith in each other, we are learning to be friends.  Just friends.

It is because of our faith in each other that we embark on these new rituals, celebrate these little Christmases.  Walk, not hand in hand, but side by side.  Figure out not how to start over, but how to be now.

Every morning can be a new tradition we are making together, if we want it.

I do.

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Filed under Gentlemen Friends, Thinking

Counting Down

– REVISION!! 4/22/09 Editing to include the following very important information-

33 Days until Jessica comes!  And we run the Bolder Boulder!  And we get trampled by skinny hippies!  You laugh, but you’ve never seen me run.  It might happen.  Just remember that when I die, LP gets all my shoes.  I promised her years ago, and my impending potential death by 10K is not enough to  make me renig on very important life promises made to my very important life partner.

24 days until Duncan Weekend!  Like Vampire Weekend, but with fewer drums I think (although I can’t say for sure) and preferably the same amount of oxford commas, which is lots.  I do love the oxford comma.

19 days until Mother’s Day, in which I will do some nice things for my mother.  My mother, who is wonderful.  My mother, who birthed me out into the world all those years ago.  My mother, who has been having a rough go of it for the last few days.

10 days until May Day and I can make adorable baskets, fill them with flowers, and ring and run my neighbors.  It feels good to ring and run for a reason other than because you just TP’ed someone’s house.  Not that I ever did that circa the 8th grade no sireee.

1 day until Earth Day, which is important.  Remember when you were little and Earth Day involved a trip to the park, planting a tree, and then eating your Lunchable on the hot, hot grass?  And mostly being excited about the Lunchable because trees were nice, but your mom NEVER let you have Lunchables except on special occasions and field trips?  Yeah.  Me too. 


I might just bring a Lunchable to work tomorrow.


Filed under Digressions

The Mister: 201?

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury: The Mister has…made a reappearance of sorts.

More information to come.

After I’m done processing what this means.

And after I’ve located all the missing pieces of my heart, which was thoroughly crushed, and shattered into approximately one thousand forty seven point two pieces after the last time.

I think I see a piece that rolled under the couch.


What am I going to do with him?

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Filed under Gentlemen Friends, It's awkward now, Woe To Me

Karma: both a bitch and a dinosaur. Discuss.

I had a dream last night.  Or rather, this morning. 

You know that weird 20-ish minutes before the alarm goes off, where you’re in the deepest level of REM sleep?  You know how sometimes, on this blog, I make shit up and it sounds like I know what I’m talking about?  You know that time?

I was awake at 6:00 a.m., and then I looked at my alarm and was all “No way am I getting up 25 minutes before my alarm goes off.  Even if I am wide awake, I’m stayin’ in here!” 

So I closed my eyes again, and before I knew it, I was dead asleep and having the strangest dream ever.  In the words of my sister Gosia, “Okay you guys, and here is what I dreamed:”

I dreamt that an apartment complex near my house was, instead, a large field with many seats around it.  Not unlike a stadium for baseball, football, or Quidditch.  You know, important sports that people like to watch.  But part of it was open, and people were just walking on and off the field – it wasn’t blocked off.

I was walking around the field with some high school friends – Chach, and someone we won’t name because she’s a heinous bitch.  Actually yes, we will name her: heinous bitch.  Heinous bitch shall be her name henceforth, forever and ever, amen.

We all turned toward the field to see that there was some sort of battle going on, between a man and a T-REX!  The T-REX was bleeding and stumbling about, and it seemed like the man had won.  THEN, the T-REX FELL OVER on top of the heinous bitch’s car!  And then we were all “Oh man, I HATE it when a T-REX falls on my car! Stupid T-REX.”

But then, the T-REX looked at us, like he had heard us talking so much smack about him.  He reared up, looked us in the eyes, and spoke.  He said “THIS IS FOR ALL OF THE DINOSAURS! RAAAAAAAWR!!!!!!!” and he came crashing toward us.

Chach booked it somewhere, I don’t know where, so then it was just the heinous bitch and me, trying to outrun the dinosaur.  She kept saying “WAIT FOR ME” but Dream Me was all “Uh, no thanks.  On account of I don’t have to outrun this T-REX, I just have to outrun you, heinous bitch!”

I pulled into the lead, and ran into the garage of one of my neighbors.  As I did, I heard the heinous bitch get eaten up by the dinosaur. 

And then I woke up.


In case you were wondering, yes I did tell my mom this story.  While I was in my bathrobe.  And yes I did act out the part about when the T-REX reared up and decided to seek vengeance on behalf of his fellow dinos.  And yes, Internet, she did have to hold onto a dresser because she was laughing so hard. 

I get no support.


Filed under Family, Quotes