I got a sad little facebook message from my life partner (LP) last night. She started out by saying that when she misses me, she stalks me on this here blog. Thank the baby Jebus we have the Internet, or else what would we do? LP lives in the desert of Las Vegas now, and aside from all the 18 years when we didn’t exist in each other’s lives, it’s the farthest apart we’ve ever been.
Those 18 years seem a little bit like a blip on the radar, the short jurassic period in the timeline of my life. It’s strange to think there was a time when the person who knows me the very best, didn’t know me even a little bit, not even at all.
It’s strange to think that we actually once went through the “Hilary meet LP, LP meet Hilary” ritual of introduction, when now we don’t even bother with hello, we just launch into stories and fits of giggles that leave my sides sore, my cheeks pink, and my eyes sparkly with tears, because it’s like those 18 years of not knowing don’t matter, not even a little bit, not even at all.
It’s strange to think that she’s getting married soon. My LP, my other half, has found another half. And I don’t like it. Not even a little bit, not even at all.
But here’s what you should know people: when I say I miss her – and I say it all the time – it isn’t really a when, it’s a because.
Because I miss her, I stalk her on the Internet, too. Because I miss her, I re-read our hilarious e-mail correspondence and laugh about the weeks where we only wrote to each other in haiku. Because I miss her, I talk about her incessantly, like a child with an imaginary amigo. I’m sure people wonder if there actually is such a creature as an LP, or if I’m just the crazy lady in the corner, stuffing muffins into my purse and talking about my fake friend.
It is because I miss her so much, that I know I love her so much. I don’t miss her when, I miss her always. I don’t love her when, I love her always.
And so, because I miss her, I am writing about her on this here blog.
Because I love her, I am strapping on a hot pink maiden of honor dress that I am, indeed, so honored to wear.
Because I love her, I am overlooking this other half business. Instead of being afraid, I am learning to relish in her happiness and excitement.
Because I love her, I am going to stand up next to her on one of the most important days of her life, because that is what LPs do for each other. Because that is what she will do for me, when my day eventually comes. And I know that no matter what color I choose, she’ll strap on that maiden of honor dress, and I’ll be so honored when she wears it.
Because I love her, I miss her always. Because I love her, I’ll stand by her always.
And here’s the thing about always: with the right people, you mean it.
So no matter how old and crazy we get, we’ll always tell stories that make our faces crack open with huge smiles. We’ll always tell inappropriate stories and write naughty haikus and recite them out loud. We will always eat cake.
We will always stand together, my best friend and I. Because that’s what LPs do for each other. And it won’t matter where we end up, because in the end, nothing will have changed. Not even a little bit, not even at all.
Happy Birthday, LP. You’re my fave.